on #foodbabies & being whole30-ish

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07.12.2016 by Andrea

I’ve resigned myself to admit that I am now part of an aging population. No, I’m not yet a card carrying member of the AARP nor do I get a silver tips discount at the local diner. Buuuuut, I most certainly have seen an uptick of the crop of gray hairs on my head, proudly tote my AAA membership around, and I don’t deny a good power nap in my car {move along, nothing to see}.

But here’s the kicker: all things I thought I wouldn’t do, {and pooh poohed A LOT} have started to come to fruition. I’m beginning to sound like my mother when I spy a better table at a restaurant, I clip coupons like being frugal is going out of style, and my fridge is full of foods that have been or are waiting to be cooked by … ME.


no but seriously, this is my fridge.

I KNOW! Halt the presses, send a medic, check my pulse. How can I even admit that when the name of this very blog is “i don’t cook, i eat.” Hands up … I’m coming out of the closet, in the spirit of full disclosure and honesty. First and foremost, let’s be real, it’s not like I’m ready to list cooking as a talent in my LinkedIn profile. It gets better {or worse} depending on how you look at it. This is where the whole aging this comes into play. The whole truth, and nothing but the truth is, I think my body is enjoying it.

Now, before you blog-exit this page, because I get it, this proclamation feels a bit other wordly. Sit tight. I understand. In this very moment, you may be shaking your head thinking that another one bit the dust. Let’s be frank here, this is new. While I can’t deny this kitchen “stuff” has been creeping into my repertoire … first it was dabbling in gardening {mmmmm, that wasabi arugula}, then it was learning the art of using the slow cooker {praise whomever invented this miracle device} and next thing I knew, slowly but surely lifestyle and food removal cleanses became a thing and creeped into my life. I blame it on binge watching Netflix food documentaries which took me down the path of buying a juicer {best Craiglist purchase ever}. Then it was a hot tip about how easy and approachable Simply Real Health’s recipes were {real talk: I had my first Instagram fan girl experience} and then oops, I joined the whole30 army. Wha? Wha? Wha?

Quite simply, I just can’t eat like a rockstar in my 20’s anymore. It’s like Ali Wong says, 18 year olds can just {excuse my language} s#*t and they regain their 6 pack abs. I on the other hand have been carrying around a food baby belly that was bigger then my friends real baby she’s growing in her tummy. That’s a life being formed. Mine? Dormant calories.


this was my food baby {post Paris}

I don’t regret any of the bites, they were all for good causes: macaroons in Paris, croissants in Paris, champagne in Paris, frites in Amsterdam, fish & chips in Iceland, farm to table food in Charlotte, and my favorite go to anthem for the past couple of years: rosé all day. I’ll be darned, it’s a wonder its taken this long to finally catch up to me. While my working out has been the same or better {thanks ClassPass} I’ve been bound for #kegbod {made that up myself} for a bit. Aging, I tell you.


Quite frankly embarking on this journey probably wasn’t the most well thought out or scripted action I’ve done. The idea of “oh hey, you should start #whole30 the day after an epic wedding on a holiday weekend” should have caused me to pause. But I’m reckless, I jump in head first, and truly … when is there ever a fun time to cut champs, cheese and carbs {my favorite trifecta} out of your life?

I’ll level with you. I’m being whole-30ish. I am going on holiday shortly to a land where wine flows like water and street meats are irresistible. {Before the 30 days end.} It’s day 10 and while I haven’t intentionally broken any rules, I’ve outsourced some food making and quite frankly don’t have the bandwidth to create all things from scratch. But, I’m chugging along.


homemade pork carnitas

Here’s the rundown {thus far}:

  • Day 2 my hangry self reared and I wasn’t sure I was going to make it. I took a car nap in the garage of my gym and felt punch drunk when I awoke 10 minutes later.
  • Week 1 my digestive system was active and I feared accidentally “cutting the cheese” in my gym partner’s face during our one minute sit up drill. not a joking matter folks, luckily it’s been unrealized {thus far}.
  • My slow cooker has been all kinds of good, churning out meats like we are on Iron Chef America.
  • I think must perpetually smell of onions and garlic because I have used them in nearly everything {apologies to my poor cubicle mates and thanks for being so tolerant}.
  • When you haven’t cooked in ages, you realize your paltry supply of mason jars doesn’t hold a lot.
  • My lunch bag {formerly known as my tailgating cooler, now referenced as “the Beast”} can hold a ton. It may not appear to be trendy when I’m lugging it around at work. But, you gotta do you. Nobody wants me ravenously seeking out food like an animal in heat. {Read: hangry}.
  • I knew this from Ethan Stowell’s Italian cookbook but now I know this even more: unequivocally – homemade tomato sauce is just divine.
  • You can eat out {hello spaghetti squash and meatballs} and survive when you’re in the midst of a delectable street fair resplendent with curly fries and delicious craft beers.
  • I’m actually sleeping like a baby and my belly isn’t bloated uncomfortably.
  • Accountability is everything. I’m definitely that girl who is trying to recruit everyone to join me in this misery, I mean healthy endeavor.

To say the least, I’m actually enjoying being mindful of what I put in my mouth and knowing I had a hand in the creation from start to consumption.


the struggle is real. #bobsburgersandfries

So, what’s the next?

I’ve got about another week and then I’ll reintroduce some “foreign” foods. But in all honesty I won’t go all out when I rejoin the “normal” eating world. I don’t battle the sugar monster like some of my pals but I have looked mournfully at the cheese section every time I go to the market. I don’t think I’m hallucinating or riding on a fad-high and believe there are sustainable habits as takeaways for the long term but only time will tell (I will update y’all). And, well …  it was time.

Sometimes you have to face to the music and pull up your big girl pants. {Face palm}. Fade in the stringed quartet, yup – this is me aging and becoming more mature.

Continue on this food consumption train with me. I won’t over-promise and under-deliver on the cadence* of this blog any longer.

Until the next bite {or my next hangry episode}. Cheers!IMG_5834

*Sidenote –  I utilized public transit today and was able to pump out this bad boy. This occasional 1 hour commute may have to be my newfound way to expound my verbal vomit and mindless musings.


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